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As I’ve grown in life, one thing that I have learned is the importance of reflection and prioritizing it. Taking the time to breathe, slow down, and objectively evaluate myself periodically, has been critical to making sure I actively choose the direction my life’s trajectory is taking and not just sit along quietly for the ride. In the spirit of reflection, I took some time this month to consider what Women’s History Month means to me both on my personal and professional journey.

Late 2019, I joined Vertican Technologies as a Business Analyst to help support their newest product that was launched – vExchange. Almost immediately, I started to absorb the knowledge my coworkers shared with me and was invigorated by the work I was doing. It was challenging, it was fast paced, and dare I say – it was fun! I truly love putting together the plethora of pieces of a data mosaic, especially when insights come to light and true solutions can be found. The culture of the organization was rooted in the people I was surrounded by every day. The energy of the office was infectious and the relationships I built with my colleagues at Vertican were monumental to my professional growth. I wasn’t afraid to ask questions, insert myself into solving a problem, and was vocal about solutions I thought the team should consider.

Now, all of this sounds pretty great, but this was a vast difference from where I stood a few months earlier. You see, in the six months before I joined Vertican, my personal and professional lives had splintered. Frankly, I was burning the candle on both ends between work, motherhood, and home without any reprieve in sight. While I very much enjoyed the work I was doing in my previous role, the environment became increasingly toxic, management was unsupportive, and the team I was a part of had severe staff reductions while our work (and the pressure) continued to swell. In May of 2019 I had just given birth to my second daughter, and regrettably had to return to the office when she was only six weeks old. This was a decision that I was never okay with, but I was left with very little choice, as not returning meant walking away from my job completely. At that time, this was a decision I just was not ready to make. My entire life I had always followed the rules and followed the roadmap that my parents laid out for me. Quitting? That’s what other people may do, but nope, not me. “You’ve got this Maryann. You can handle it.”, I would tell myself as I roused my then two year old and newborn at 5:30 am to get to daycare and to then drive 2+ hours round trip to the office each day.

At home, I was barely able to keep up with being a single mom, and all that comes along with raising my two daughters: dishes, laundry, dinner, daycare drop-offs and pickups, and the occasional play date. Every day, I felt like I was drowning, and it was becoming hard to just remember to breathe. To try to cope, I played catch up every weekend on both fronts – catching up on quality time with my daughters, finishing up work projects that were dangerously approaching their deadline, and doing multiple loads of laundry; but despite my efforts I never seemed to be able to squeeze 30 hours out of a 24-hour day. Of course, this meant I had zero time to rest and recharge and by August of 2019 I had reached my breaking point. I knew that I could no longer keep going at this pace (I was barely treading water) and something had to give. The only clear answer I saw was choosing me and my daughters. I knew I needed to prioritize my well-being, because without that, I couldn’t be the mother that my daughters deserved, or that I wanted to be. So, after much support from my family and friends, I decided to take some time to reset, heal, and redirect.

Although I was away from work for only a couple of months, I like to think of it is as the continuation of the maternity leave that I should have taken. I spent this time soaking up snuggles, giggles, and lots of firsts with my youngest daughter and making lots of pretend meals with my older daughter in her play kitchen. In the mornings, I poured myself into fitness and nutrition – physically moving my body was a well-needed outlet for me. My afternoons consisted of scouring the internet and my network for job opportunities while I daydreamed about what I wanted my future to look like. Before I knew it, my schedule was bustling with phone calls, job interviews, and eventually multiple offers for me to consider. On the eve of my 29^th birthday, I had made my decision – I was going to take the opportunity to work for a private software company all whilst combating my fear of driving and adding a long commute back into my daily life.

What was different in October of 2019 was me – my mindset, my demeanor, my confidence, and the strong desire I had to see the life I daydreamed about come to fruition. To get there, I knew I had to work hard, trust my gut, and continue to put being a mother and an example to my daughters at the forefront. I was hyper-focused on setting a strong foundation for our little family and planting solid roots that would eventually yield flowers. While I was challenged in my new role, trusting myself enough to share my ideas led to more opportunities for me to share my thoughts with a broader audience. Suddenly, I began to realize the positive impact of the relationships I was making and my hard work.

In the past, I was cautious of change and transition, but my time at Vertican has taught me that while change is hard, it is inevitable. And, if you approach change with the right mindset, ask questions when you need clarity, and continue to voice your opinion, change can truly be great. While I may not have realized it at the time, I was naturally emerging as a leader among my peers and soon after, I had my own team to lead. A few years later, I had the opportunity to transition into running the product I first learned about in my early days at Vertican, vExchange. In this role, I have had the opportunity to learn from so many amazing people and add to my skill set as the needs of the product ebb and flow through technology, relationship building, mentoring, being mentored, marketing, accounting, business development – just to name a few.

Trusting in myself and working hard was paying off. I felt like I could finally breathe again. I wasn’t drowning; in fact, I was thriving. This carried over to my personal life as well; as the foundation I built for my daughters and I grew stronger, I was more present with them daily which meant more laughs, more snuggles, and lots more smiles. Often, my daughters play “office” where they set up their own desks with my spare keyboards and mice and they pretend to have zoom meetings and plan out a new product or demonstration of their own (with lots of pretend coffee of course!). During this time, I also met my now husband and almost instantly fell in love with him and over time we built our own foundation together. His support, unwavering commitment, and candid advice has been pivotal in my professional journey as well. While I laid the foundation of creating strong roots, I am blessed to have two strong men in my life, my father and my husband, that continue to support me, encourage me, and inspire me.

Throughout my career at Vertican I have continually received support from our leadership team to invest in the development of my leadership skills, the cultivation of relationships within our industry, and my overall professional growth. For the past two years I have attended the Women in Consumer Finance Conference (WCF). A fabulous event where I got to really take the couple days each year to invest in myself and network with accomplished women in the Consumer Finance industry. This conference also serves as a time of reflection for me as the entire community of WCF is inspiring, uplifting, positive, and truly challenges us to be the best leaders we can be all while challenging us women to shift our perspective from saying “I am lucky” to “I deserve” when we speak of our accomplishments. This notion was different for me when first introduced to me last year, as I commonly would say to myself similar things like “I’m so lucky” or “I’m so blessed”; when my mindset should instead be “I worked hard for this” and “I deserve this”. We also talked about the power of networking and the importance of having a Sponsor and a Mentor. As I continue to mature in my career, I realize how important it is to network, grow my influence with others, and have sponsor(s) that will vouch for my work and continue to uplift me in rooms and conversations that I am not a part of.

WCF also gave me ample opportunities to network with new women and catch up with those I met last year. I attended a networking group about balancing motherhood and career growth and was able to have a great conversation with several accomplished women about how they balance being a Mother while striving for greatness and growth in their careers. It was helpful to hear how others handle the household responsibilities of being a parent and the responsibilities of being a leader and prioritizing our professional growth. One thing I took away is to outsource household tasks where I can, such as hiring a household cleaning service or getting groceries delivered to help free up the limited time we have as professionals and as Mothers. I also shared with these women that my older daughter Max was having a particularly difficult time with me being away and it is natural for our children to miss us while we are gone. I am most proud of being an example to both of my daughters that success comes from hard work, that good things come from work, and that balancing my family and work responsibilities doesn’t always swing exactly equal but rather ebbs and flows. Sometimes I do need to work nights or weekends to support my team when time-sensitive things come up. Other times, I can step away for part of the day and pick them up from school or be a mystery reader while still completing my work duties.

Being a daughter, wife, and mother hold some of the most meaningful and pivotal memories in my life. What’s common in all of these roles, for me, is the importance of family and receiving the proper care needed for me to grow from a child into a happy and thriving woman. The most significant moments in my life have been rooted in me being at the center of one of these roles. In life, we all have challenges to overcome, moments that make us think, and opportunities where one choice can have a ripple effect on our futures. When the winds of life come, and they do from time to time, I have found that the following combination has been a winner for me – build your strong foundation, surround yourself with those that will water you, and see the growth yield.